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Serenity now. Insanity later.

How many times can one be inspired by the genius that is Seinfeld? I dare say, not too many. Last night, as I was *trying* to sleep while Tee was watching TV in bed (I know, I know, I am partly to blame for allowing a TV in the bedroom in the first place), a classic episode was on, and I was compelled to listen. Too much effort to roll over and open my eyes, you know. If you are not familiar with the episode, let me give you this little gem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlep7VYBFh8
(Ignore the Romanian subtitles, and watch until 3:30)

It really got me thinking about one of the reasons I decided to blog. (The others being: 1. I love to write, and always have; 2. a friend (JT) told me that I have an “interesting voice”; 3. another friend (JW) told me how easy blogging is; and 4. my no-Facebook-having-wench-of-a-friend (AW) started one as her NY resolution and I thought it looked like fun). It has been awhile since I have had a creative outlet. I have made jewelry, totes, and stationary, created custom lampshades, and sewed various things for the home. I even did some of it for other people, and made enough money to make it worth my time. But the root of my little business endeavor wasn’t to make money. It was always to create.

But, when life events happened, as they are wont to do, I put aside my artistic endeavors in favor of raising Brown-Eyed Boy and Brown-Eyed Girl. (A decision I in no way, shape, or form regret) But now that both of them are in school, I have found myself with time on my hands that I don’t quite know what to do with. I think I spent Brown-Eyed Girl’s kindergarten year napping every chance I got. (In between working to update a house we had just moved into) This being her second year in school, the level of busyness I once had is gone. Left with just me, without a project per se, the old creative longings are rearing their beautiful, bewitching heads. And since timing, they say, is everything, here I go with my blog.    Brown-Eyed Husband calls me a “Sparkler”, meaning I start projects with gusto and then fizzle out towards the end. I prefer to think of myself as “Dynamic”, so let’s see how long this thing lasts…

To me, “Serenity now” = maintaining the status quo. I see so many people going about their daily lives, yet not really living. They just kinda go with the flow, not really expressing who they are because they stay so busy doing things for other people in their lives.

I am a Wife and Mother and Friend and Daughter and Sister and Granddaughter. But I am also Nikki. I have realized only recently, sadly enough, that if one of those facets are neglected, the others do not thrive. This blog is for Nikki, because I am striving to be the best I can be for all the roles I have in life. Nikki is also a child of God, and who I am (not what I do) is good enough for God. The interests I have are part of my God-given personality and I want to use them and not neglect them.

The new endeavors I am choosing to embark upon are going to be time-consuming, and possibly difficult. But if I ignore the longings of my heart, and opt for the easy way out by squelching those desires or putting them off “until later”, I fear the end result will be neither appealing nor beneficial.

God willing, I will be blessed with being a wife and mother and friend, etc. for a long, long time. I want to be spiritually, mentally, and emotionally equipped for the mission. Serenity now. Insanity later. I’m up for the challenge. What about you?

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1 thought on “Serenity now. Insanity later.”

  1. Welcome to blog world Nikki! Great job with the look and feel of your niche out here! And what a kick off…

    My favorite line: “But I am also Nikki” rocks. In that one short sentence you capture what I think a lot of women (including myself) cry out internally every day. Yes, I'm a mom, a daughter, a friend but what happened to *me*? When we search for outlets to re-establish our identities to often we give up because it's easier to be mom, daughter, wife, friend, employee. You may find this silly, but I look to you as a role model. In the short time I've known you, you have ventured outside your comfort zone more than anyone I know. When I see what you have done, it nudges me that yes, I can do it too.

    Like

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