Admitting

I Won’t Be Quitting My Day Job

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
— Abraham Lincoln

Over the weekend I found out something new about myself.  I’m all about self-discovery and agree with Plato’s “unexamined life” quote, but this is embarrassing.


I found out that I get super chatty and crack a lot of (bad) jokes when I feel stressed.  I turn into some kind of a Joan Rivers wanna-be and it’s completely annoying, both to myself and to those around me.


Case in point: over the weekend, I had to go to the ER for stitches, and well, let’s just put it this way: I don’t think I made any new friends.  Also, I hope I didn’t scare off the friend who took me.  {Thanks for taking me, AW.  Sorry if I embarrassed you! ;)}


I’ve always heard that comedy is a coping mechanism for pain, and that a lot of professional comedians’ careers were borne out of a painful past.  I’ve always wondered:  Do they do that to make themselves feel better or to gain the approval of others?


As I was recounting the whole “Hospital Experience” to Brown-Eyed Husband (he had to take the kids home from where the accident happened, so he wasn’t able to go with me), he posed a similar question to me, the gist of which was, “Why can’t you [me] just let yourself be hurt, be in pain, without feeling the need to accomodate those around you?”


His innocent-enough question has haunted me for days now.  Not in a bad or “what’s wrong with me?” way, but in a “hmmmm…. why *do* I do that?” kind of way.


The more I’ve pondered it, the more I’ve realized that the way I was acting wasn’t an “act”.  I didn’t purposely intend to entertain those around me.  And really, I wasn’t in such a tremendous amount of pain that laughing was my way to try to ignore it.


I was just me, acting like me.


Maya Angelou once said, you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.  I would venture to add a fourth thing: getting sutures.


I found out that even in pain or under duress, I am a goober.


And I own that.

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3 thoughts on “I Won’t Be Quitting My Day Job”

  1. We all have our goober moments. I find it impossible when meeting with *anyone* for the first time to turn off my geeky-side. I can turn any converstation into a tech moment. I was at my high school reunion last week acting as a designated driver and at 3 AM was discussing Business Intelligence with folks I was chauferring around. I'm hopeless. 🙂

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